Off the wagon

There is an expression about addiction that I always get the wrong way round. So I am either 'off the wagon' or 'on the wagon'. I don't know which one means you are doing the thing that you are trying to stop doing. But which ever one that is, then I am doing it. My addiction is to oil and all that that entails and I have been trying to give it up since I joined transition and gradually I have changed my life but it only takes a few things for me to be indulging again.

So for example I had gradually changed my life so that I was much less dependant on the car. I had done this by never agreeing to be involved in anything that meant I had to drive, so if someone invited me to join a book group in Wymondham then I would just say no.

I had started visiting my parents in Peterborough by train. This turned out to be cheaper than driving and much easier to knit on the journey.

I started to walk to work and sat smugly by as people ran round my office looking for the person who had blocked them in in the car park.

I moved to the city centre and started dating someone also in the city centre so that I was never more than walking distance from where I wanted to be.

I nearly, I repeat, nearly got rid of my car and then disaster struck....

My mum went into a home and my dad got really ill. Then my work got moved to 3 miles outside the city centre. I had to travel to Peterborough at a moments notice. When I walked around the office asking if anyone was driving into the city and could give me a lift I was looked at like I had asked for spare change for a cup of tea outside Macdonalds.

So I started driving around everywhere like an ex-vegetarian who has started eating meat and can't get enough of it!

Then my car broke and the garage asked me to pay £2000 to get it fixed and so I have parked it in my ex's driveway while I have a think. You could say that the car and me are officially 'on a break'.

So there you have it. My story of how you an end up off or on the wagon and then back on or off it in just a few months.

My name is Helenofnorwich and I haven't driven for 6 days and 3 hours...