On being an eco-worrier

When I first got into the whole green thingy I imagined myself as protesting in trees and having a cool name like swampy. Obviously that has been taken but perhaps urban forager. However, being middle aged, middle class and generally living in fear of arrest I have only managed to be an eco-worrier.

This involves analyzing everything you do and weighing it up against cost to the planet, my health, my purse, my family and my spiritual self.

So for example, I am in my old watering hole from my youth. No longer packed with six formers but now frequented by families having a 'traditional home cooked pub lunch' printed on an impossibly large menu with a specials blackboard that is too far away for me to remember everything in one trip.

Mum has memory problems so while she and dad are still slowly reading out the starters I begin to peruse the mains and play the Green Game.

So first I think green. We have taken the car to the local pub (go back one square)

It is independent ( go forward 1 square)

Shall I have a cheese salad? This would be healthy and more environmentally friendly than meat. But what's the point of going out for a meal and having a salad?

The fish looks good. Healthy and tasty but its really expensive and dad will insist on paying and we are running out of fish in the sea.

I carry on down the menu to the 'beef and ale pie made locally with seasonal vegetables'. This looks good but still meat, mental note to come back to this.

Pasta bake. This would be veggie so more green but they are always a lottery are pasta bakes. Mum is still on the mains now but the waiter has been back twice already. I start to wonder if i shouldnt have something that mum could have if she doesnt like the curry she has chosen so we could then swap.

The waiter patiently returns, I panic and plump for the beef lasagne because I just really fancy it.( go back six spaces)

p.s in case you are thinking of going to the fox and hounds in Peterborough you will find that the picture of this girl on their website most misleading.